


i will love you (until the blood all leaves these hands)

by clawsnbeak



Series: Pynch Prompt Collection [12]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Anal Sex, Car Sex, Established Relationship, Fluff, Future Fic, Husbands, M/M, Married Couple, Married Sex, Ronan Lynch's Hand Kink, They know each other, a lot of feelings, as romantic as fucking in a car can be, they love each other a lot, wedding rings are mentioned quite often
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:15:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23988733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clawsnbeak/pseuds/clawsnbeak
Summary: Waking up alone in bed usually either meant that it was 6 am and Ronan was outside feeding the cows and it wouldn’t be long until he crawled back into bed with him, peppering his face in kisses until Adam opened his eyes again, or that Ronan was restless.From the way Ronan was pacing downstairs and the 3 am shining on the alarm clock next to his side of the bed, Adam guessed it was the latter.-Ronan has a nightmare he can't shake off and Adam helps his husband in any way he can.
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Series: Pynch Prompt Collection [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1417012
Comments: 8
Kudos: 203





	i will love you (until the blood all leaves these hands)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a "car sex during a late night drive" prompt I received on Tumblr!
> 
> Thank you [Chiara](https://non-platonic-murphamy.tumblr.com/) for suffering through my many messages about this. I love you a lot.

Adam woke up alone.

This wasn’t a normal occurrence. Not since he had packed his last box at Harvard and drove with Ronan back to the Barns, the one place he had been able to call home in his life. Not since he had said those two words and slid a gold ring around Ronan’s finger that matched his own.

Waking up alone in bed usually either meant that it was 6 am and Ronan was outside feeding the cows and it wouldn’t be long until he crawled back into bed with him, peppering his face in kisses until Adam opened his eyes again, or that Ronan was restless.

From the way Ronan was pacing downstairs and the 3 am shining on the alarm clock next to his side of the bed, Adam guessed it was the latter.

Adam stepped into Ronan’s arms, face pressed against his neck, the scent of Ronan making him sleepy again. 

“Can’t sleep?” he asked unnecessarily, his voice hoarse with sleep. He knew that expression as well as he knew his own face in the mirror. Adam had become a walking Ronan encyclopaedia. He memorised every sound, every expression, and when a new one rolled along, he learned those too.

Ronan still shook his head, resting his head on top of Adam’s for a second but Adam could feel his heart jumping underneath the palm of his hand. It reminded him of those times Ronan knocked on his door at St. Agnes, eyes wide and mouth pulled into a straight, thin line. It has been a long time since Ronan had been this restless but the solution remained the same.

“Give me a minute,” Adam said softly and quickly took the stairs, throwing on an old hoodie of Ronan’s and some sweatpants, the weather too cold to just drive around in his underwear. 

When he got downstairs, Ronan already had the car keys in his hand. Adam marvelled at how well they knew each other, at how in sync they were with each other to the point where they could predict what the other would say or do. Early on in their relationship Adam had been worried that Ronan would miss the thrill of not knowing, that he would get bored of Adam and Adam had feared the same in return. But quite the opposite was true, Adam liked the predictability of it, the safety and comfort he found in his marriage with Ronan. There were still enough thrills in their relationship and they were far from boring, but the little moments when it seemed like they could read each other’s minds, those were the moments Adam treasured the most.

He followed Ronan to the BMW Ronan never had the heart to exchange for a different car and got into the passenger seat, watching as Ronan turned the ignition and picked a song. The thumping of the bass told Adam everything he needed to know.

_ This would be one of those drives. _

Ronan had grown out of his young adulthood and allowed himself to be more openly soft, something he had always been but never showed. Screeching songs were exchanged for soft melodies they often slow-danced to. But every now and then, Ronan’s past reared its head and the familiar mind-numbing music was blasted through the stereo. It reminded Adam of the nightly drives he took with Ronan when he was too afraid to dream and pestered Adam until he abandoned his homework or sleep to drive with him, only for him to fall asleep in the passenger seat anyways, Ronan’s swearing acting as a lullaby. 

Adam turned to look at Ronan, watched as the gold ring shone in the flickering lights of the highway. Sometimes, during one of these moments, all languid and dream-like, it almost felt unreal that they were married and safe and okay and finally happy. He had to remind himself of their wedding, the dream flowers strewn from Opal’s hand who deemed herself the flower girl after she learned what it was, most likely to eat them but Adam had saved a few and they were still displayed on his desk at work. How he and Ronan had both given their “I do’s” only to repeat them against each other’s lips on their honeymoon a few years after. Gansey’s tears, Blue’s smile that couldn’t be wiped off her face, Henry’s loud clapping, the distinct feeling that somebody else was missing. 

Adam didn’t have to ask if Ronan wanted to talk about it, he knew the answer would be no. He placed his hand over Ronan’s on the gearstick, intertwining their fingers and he knew that would be enough for now but not for long.

Ronan’s shoulders slumped a bit and Adam counted it as a win. He wasn’t surprised when Ronan parked the car in a strip of grass next to the road, he merely waited until Ronan was ready to talk to him.

“You died,” Ronan said, the first two words spoken to Adam since he woke up. “You were bleeding, screaming for my help and I couldn’t move.”

Adam unbuckled his seatbelt so he could properly turn to Ronan. “It wasn’t real,” he replied softly, taking Ronan’s white-knuckled hand off the gearstick and into his own. “I’m here and I’m okay.”

Ronan took his hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the palm. He then placed Adam’s hand against his cheek, the metal of his ring resting against Ronan’s skin. Adam allowed himself to marvel at the sight for a few seconds before reaching over to pull the driver’s seat back, sliding on top of Ronan’s lap with practised ease, one of Ronan’s hands immediately folding around his hip to keep him steady.

He cradled Ronan’s head between his palms and encouraged him to meet his eyes. “You’re not going to lose me,” Adam whispered, despite them being alone in the car. Some things were still easier said quietly.

“I know,” Ronan sighed, leaning into Adam’s touch. “Sometimes my brain just… You know.”

“I know,” Adam replied, resting his forehead against Ronan’s for a few seconds. The kiss he pressed to the side of Ronan’s head was comfortable and easy, something he often did before leaving for work or when Ronan was dozing on his chest again, sprawled on the comfortable couch at the Barns not following the movie Ronan had urged him to watch. 

Ronan leaned into it as always before pressing a soft kiss against Adam’s lips, serving as a silent ‘thank you’ he couldn’t say without his voice breaking. 

Adam felt the hitch of breath against his lips and leaned in again, drawing out the kiss a little longer. One of Ronan’s hands travelled from his waist up to the small of his back, pressing him against Ronan’s chest a little harder. The other travelled up into his hair, letting the strands fall between his fingers.

Even after all those years, kissing Ronan felt just as electric as that first time in his childhood bedroom when Adam couldn’t help but let Ronan consume him. This was no different, even though Ronan’s touches had become more familiar, more comfortable. 

Ronan’s hand pushed underneath his shirt, his fingers dancing up the wide expanse of his back. The gasp Adam let out at the hot skin on his own in contrast to the coldness of the night only seemed to urge Ronan on more, tangling their tongues together like they had countless times before. 

Adam could taste the desperation in the way Ronan explored his mouth as if he was relearning Adam all over again. Adam let him, knowing he had done the same to Ronan after yet another horrifying nightmare that still haunted him, needing a safe space he could let go in.

Still, Adam pulled back for a second and Ronan’s hands stilled, “Are you sure this is what you need?” Adam asked, cradling Ronan’s jaw lovingly, something that used to be too much for Ronan to bear but was now welcomed with a soft smile and open eyes.

“I’m sure,” Ronan told him, brushing a strand of hair out of Adam’s eyes. They took a moment to just look at each other, finding the familiarity in each other’s eyes, the scar above Ronan’s eyebrow, the scar that marred Adam’s jaw. It was the slightly bent slope of Ronan’s nose that Adam often teasingly kissed and the freckles spread over Adam’s features that Ronan had traced into constellations that matched the ones in the sky above the Barns.

“I love you,” Ronan said simply but truly, not hiding his love behind the walls of his own mind anymore.

“I love you too,” Adam replied with a smile, the words falling from his lips easily, a vast difference from how he had to work himself up to saying those same words for the first time years ago, when he still wasn’t sure if he deserved the love Ronan was willing to give him.

Adam leaned his face down and this time, all bets were off.

Ronan’s hands were under his shirt, pushing the fabric up and over his head within seconds. Adam had his own hands nestled in the curls Ronan had grown out, tugging on the slightly when Ronan bit his lower lip.

It was exploring hands, openmouthed kisses pressed to the soft skin of Ronan’s neck, his head thrown back to give Adam more room. It was Ronan’s fingers travelling up his torso reaching Adam’s nipples, rubbing them softly until Adam’s back arched, hips snapping against Ronan’s. 

“As much as I would like to ride you in the front seat, we’re not eighteen anymore,” Adam said with a breathless laugh, snatching Ronan’s hands away from his body to hold them in his own. 

“You’re no fun,” Ronan teased but helped him off his lap, following him shortly to the backseat by trying to crawl over the arm rests, hitting his head against the roof of the car.

Adam fell back with a laugh but rubbed the top of Ronan’s head soothingly when Ronan finally fell on top of him which earned him a glare and a playful bite to his hand. Adam giggled a bit, suddenly elated by what they were about to do like they were the horny teenagers from years ago who often stopped next to the road, too impatient to wait until they had reached a bed.

The same desperation they felt back then was reflected in Ronan’s eyes and he was sure his eyes matched the same heat. Adam pulled Ronan forward suddenly, pressing him as close to his own body as was physically possible. 

It wasn’t long before Ronan’s tongue was in his mouth again, before Adam was frantically pulling on Ronan’s shirt to get it off, before they both let out a small sound at the skin on skin contact they finally felt.

The music was still booming in the background which only lit Adam on fire more, as did it urge Ronan to go quicker, to grind his growing erection against Adam’s, to take his hands and press them next to Adam’s hand on the backseat. 

It was often Adam who led them during sex. By doing so, he could fulfil his need for control in a healthy way and Ronan loved being taken apart by him. But every once in a while, when Ronan was restless and had to think of something other than the bad thoughts and recurring memories that clouded his mind, he took over.

Ronan moved down his body, leaving hot kisses in his wake. Adam already trembled a little underneath him, from pleasure but from anticipation as well. His sweatpants and underwear were pulled down quickly and the kisses were moved to the inside of his thighs. Ronan bit his skin softly and he couldn’t help but buck up with a whine. 

Adam scrambled to find the lube he knew was hidden in the car somewhere just in case something like this happened. He found it and quickly handed it to Ronan who had finally fully undressed as well. 

When the first finger slid inside of him, Adam already felt undone. Ronan wordlessly reached out with his free hand and took Adam’s hand in his own, their rings clashing together softly, barely audible above the music. 

As usual, Ronan took his time opening him up. Adam never felt anything but completely worshipped during sex with Ronan and while he wouldn’t mind it if Ronan went faster, he enjoyed Ronan’s gentleness despite the need he felt in the trembling of Ronan’s hands. Younger him would’ve sneered at Ronan to not treat him like he was going to break, older Adam knew it wasn’t about that. It was a way for Ronan to show how much he loved him, how much he thought this was what Adam deserved. 

It was perfect.

Until he felt a twinge of pain in his shoulder. The cramped back of the BMW was not the perfect place to have sex but Adam would be damned if they stopped now. When he deemed himself stretched properly enough, he pushed Ronan’s arm away softly and turned around, balancing himself on his knees on the sticky leather of the seat. 

“Jesus,” Ronan breathed out into his hearing ear, wrapping one of his arms around Adam’s waist so he didn’t fall and used the other to coat his cock in lube. Adam laughed softly, Ronan’s cursing still as magical as it always had been. 

Ronan gripped his hips to hold him still as he slid inside, going slow and steady until he was buried deep in Adam. He couldn’t do anything but let out a moan of appreciation.

The movement of Ronan’s hips were slow at first, easing them into it. Pure need took over only moments later, the thrusts harder and deeper than before. 

Back arching with pleasure, Adam was barely aware of the sounds he was making. He didn’t care either way, he knew Ronan loved hearing him. Ronan’s hand moved up to catch his chin, turning his head so he could kiss him heatedly. Adam could stay in this moment forever, their bodies moving together in a familiar dance while heat and pleasure shot up his spine, Ronan’s soft groans vibrating against his lips.

Adam’s orgasm was a slow, gradual build of heat and arousal. He buried his face in Ronan’s neck when he leaned down to wrap his hand around Adam’s leaking erection, the touch alone enough to have Adam begging for more against Ronan’s skin. 

He came with a hoarse shout and a hand clenched in Ronan’s hair. He was too busy riding out his high to care about the mess he made on the interior of the car. He slumped back against Ronan who was still painfully hard inside of him.

With quiet whispers and the smooth roll of his hips, Adam brought Ronan closer until it became too much for him as well. Adam moaned softly when he came inside of him, kissing Ronan’s hand softly as he leaned his forehead against Adam’s shoulder.

“Better?” Adam asked, brushing through Ronan’s curls as he came down, smiling when he felt Ronan press his own into his skin.

“Much better,” Ronan said, his voice steadier, calmer, like he had worked off the nervous energy that had lingered after his bad dream. 

They stayed like that for a few seconds more before it became uncomfortable and they knew it was time to head back to the Barns. They showered together when they got back, doing nothing more than staying in each other’s embrace, carefully washing off the remnants of sex. They traded soft kisses in bed after, clean and calm, the love they felt for each other palpable in the room. They slept easy that night, comfortable in each other’s arms and neither of them could think of a better place to be.

**Author's Note:**

> You can also follow me on [Tumblr](clawsnbeak.tumblr.com/)!!! 
> 
> Feedback is always much appreciated <3


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